The Most Boring 2024 Minnesota State Fair Food Post Ever

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST BORING 2024 Minnesota State Fair FOOD REVIEW. 

I was NOT going to try any new foods.

Just the classics – a Turkey To Go, a Demetri’s Gyro (the good gyro at the fair), roasted corn, roti from Harry Singh’s, Mouth Trap cheese curds, Rick’s pickle pizza, of course all washed down with a few sips of someone else’s lemonade and a MN Wine Country slushy.

Inflation/Shrinkflation is making me cranky this year. What would each new food cost this year? $14? $15? $16? $17??? What is this? A ___ for Ants?

I was going to leave it to the food critics to blow money on gimmicky, bad food. Plus, I’m still mad about the lutefisk buns.

Each fair, our local food critic reviews vary wildly vary. One team will say a new food is a SLAM DUNK while another calls it disgusting. If most agree that a certain food is good, it typically is. However, you should never ever trust anyone who said anything nice about the lutefisk buns last year.

WHY ARE THEY STILL SELLING THEM THIS YEAR?!

Then, Jake brought me some deep fried ranch, even though I did not order it.

“I thought you would want these for a post,” he said.

Deep sighs and expletives. 

Here we go again. 

Deep fried ranch makes sense. I think a lot of the buzz stemmed from our surprise that no one’s done it before.

After all, Texas has deep fried butter, Iowa deep fried some AE dip (their version of Top the Tater). How are we behind Iowa in featuring our local party dip in State Fair food?

Lulu’s deep fried ranch bites ($12) are not like cream cheese wontons, they’re like the famous cheese frenchies from my college town in Iowa. Inside oozes cream cheesy filling that tasted like the souls of a thousand ranch packets. The hot honey dip offsets some of the richness.

Perfectly fried, well executed concept. But one is enough. Like, ever.

However, better than the fried ranch was whatever Gen X dreamboat was choosing the playlist – Janet Jackson’s “Nasty,” Paul Simon’s “You Can Call Me Al.”

Gosh Darn It, we tried another new food. Soul Bowl’s Crab Boil Wings ($20). 

A huge tray of six meaty chicken wings, fried potato wedges, corn, lemon slices, and sausage tossed in a seafood boil-esque sauce + squirts of hot sauce upon request.

The wings are perfectly crisp and the sauce is flavorful, though not notably spicy. You get so much tasty food that $20 actually seems fair (no pun intended). Fantastic concept.

WE CAVED – HERE’S ANOTHER. PAELLA. 

The new Paella Depot stand is the best smelling thing at the fair.

I even saw a small child stop their mom to innocently observe how the air smelled good.

The basic chicken and sausage paella costs $14 + extra for egg, extra for seafood.

The critics are right, the paella is delicious. Flavorful rice with crispy crunchy bits, tender chicken, delightfully fresh vegetables. I wish the egg was runnier and the Korean inside of me wishes there was a very hot version. But this was such a fresh and satisfying dish among a sea of heavy, deep fried sandwiches that won’t feel like a rip off. Portion is generous. I will absolutely get this again next year.

Here’s the boring part of the post. 

Yup, the Demetri’s Gyro (the good fair gyro) is still fuckin great.

As are the Mouth Trap cheese curds.

Anyone who tells you the other ones are better are lying sorry. 

And you should still start your day with a maple cream cold brew from Farmers Union.

If you still have room, you should always get a Turkey To Go sandwich, Rick’s pickle pizza, some roasted corn, something extremely spicy from Harry Singh’s while he’s still blessing us on earth (only food spicy enough to actually make me hallucinate.

And some Sweet Martha’s Cookies – “There are overrated,” you’ll say as you steal some from your child’s bucket and stuff three more into your mouth.

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