Category: Television

And Just Like That?

And just like that, it’s 2022.

During this pocket of precious time while the baby naps, I want to take this moment to vent about And Just Like That. 

It’s terrible. It’s horrible. It’s like a  tedious writer’s exercise in fake progressive box-checking. And, yet I can’t stop watching. I even look forward to watching it each weekend. Even though I hate it.

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I Have Some Thoughts On The Bachelorette.

There’s a few things I want to say about this season of The Bachelorette. 

(This may sound familiar if you follow me on Twitter).

If I was the Bachelorette. . . 

  • Everyone named Luke has to go home immediately.
  • Peter never makes it past the first episode.
  • If one of the contestants made an entrance having the producers deliver him in a big box during the intro episode, I would simply not open the box.
  • Anyone who introduces themself with “I’m king of the jungle and I’m hoping we can change your title to My Queen” has to leave immediately because Cersei takes no kings.
  • But if he introduces himself with his mouth full of a hotdog that he’s eating, he gets to stay because I’d probably do that too.
  • I would turn the first group date into a Chopped competition where Alex Guarnaschelli and I are the only judges. The theme would be nachos. 
  • All of the solo dates would take place in a spa and begin with 90-minute massages. Any attempt at romantically switching places with the professional massage therapist will be considered voluntary terminations.
  • At least one group date would be a Quickfire Challenge where everyone has to make a different type of bruschetta. There will be no Last Chance Kitchen.
  • Some of the group dates will be technical challenges that I’d kick off by screeching, “ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET, BAKE!”

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