Wanderlust is real. It’s the constant longing to take a road trip. The moment you get back from one, you’re itching for the next. The desire constantly nags and all-consumes. If you can relate, you probably have wanderlust too.
This weekend, I took a miniature road trip to Mankato, Minnesota located about 1.5 hours southwest of the Twin Cities. This was not just a road trip, this was a literary quest.
I was a reluctant Harry Potter fan.
Growing-up, magic was mostly forbidden. Bible magic was OK. Disney magic and Chronicles of Narnia magic was OK, too. But Bed Knobs and Broomsticks magic and Roald Dahl Witches magic was not. Maybe because magic was so forbidden, I have always been obsessed with magic.
Fast forward to the summer after my senior year of high school. Before college freshman orientation, we were all assigned to read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the fifth book in J.K. Rowling’s series. I had never read a Harry Potter book and I thought it was the stupidest assignment in the world.
I dutifully bought the book. It was as heavy as a brick and 870 pages long. With a resentful heart, I opened the book and started my summer reading assignment.
My neighbors probably thought I was nuts. I laughed out loud during the entire time I read Jim Gaffigan’s book Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan and I are basically food soul mates. Well, except for his opinion on pie. He prefers cake over pie, commenting that pies are just things that people throw in clowns’ faces.
Here are ten of my favorite thoughts on food from Gaffigan’s book:
1. Eating kale:
p. 104
2. Taco salad:
From What I can tell, the recipe for a taco salad is pretty simple: Dump eight tacos into an edible bowl (98).
3. Whole Foods, or as Gaffigan calls it, “Whole Paycheck.”
They should just have a garbage can at the entrance of Whole Foods with a picture of a wallet positioned over it. “How many items do I get? Two? I’ll get the grapes for five hundred, and, Alex, I’ll have the loaf of bread made of wood for ten. . . ” (105)
4. The ever-ending stream of “new” Hot Pocket flavors:
A couple of years ago when I saw a commercial for the Chicken Pot Pie Hot Pocket, I just assumed they were messing with us. . . I figured it was just a matter of time before I’d hear someone ask, “Have you tried the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s a Hot Pocket filled with Hot Pocket. It tastes just like a hot pocket. I’m going to go stick my head in a microwave” (196).
5. The Reuben sandwich:
p. 150
6. The packaging of fast food burgers:
“Can you have the chef wrap the burger in paper so it feels like I’m opening a present?” (234).
7. Dining in food courts:
If you are over the age of eighteen, it is impossible to eat alone in a food court and not look like a serial killer (266).
8. Muffins for breakfast:
You know the difference between a muffin and a cupcake? Nuffin. A muffin is just a bald cupcake, and we all know it. p. 280
9. Fruitcake:
Whenever I’ve made the mistake of tasting fruitcake I always think, Did I just bite into a Skittle? Or was it a thimble? (285).
10. Ordering ribs:
Ribs are what protect the pigs’ or cow’s lungs and are really great with barbecue sauce. . . It’s amazing how casually we order ribs (116).
If you’ve read this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are you a cake or pie person?
© 2024 Jeni Eats
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
