My neighbors probably thought I was nuts. I laughed out loud during the entire time I read Jim Gaffigan’s book Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan and I are basically food soul mates. Well, except for his opinion on pie. He prefers cake over pie, commenting that pies are just things that people throw in clowns’ faces.
Here are ten of my favorite thoughts on food from Gaffigan’s book:
1. Eating kale:
2. Taco salad:
From What I can tell, the recipe for a taco salad is pretty simple: Dump eight tacos into an edible bowl (98).
3. Whole Foods, or as Gaffigan calls it, “Whole Paycheck.”
They should just have a garbage can at the entrance of Whole Foods with a picture of a wallet positioned over it. “How many items do I get? Two? I’ll get the grapes for five hundred, and, Alex, I’ll have the loaf of bread made of wood for ten. . . ” (105)
4. The ever-ending stream of “new” Hot Pocket flavors:
A couple of years ago when I saw a commercial for the Chicken Pot Pie Hot Pocket, I just assumed they were messing with us. . . I figured it was just a matter of time before I’d hear someone ask, “Have you tried the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s a Hot Pocket filled with Hot Pocket. It tastes just like a hot pocket. I’m going to go stick my head in a microwave” (196).
5. The Reuben sandwich:
6. The packaging of fast food burgers:
“Can you have the chef wrap the burger in paper so it feels like I’m opening a present?” (234).
7. Dining in food courts:
If you are over the age of eighteen, it is impossible to eat alone in a food court and not look like a serial killer (266).
8. Muffins for breakfast:
You know the difference between a muffin and a cupcake? Nuffin. A muffin is just a bald cupcake, and we all know it. p. 280
Whenever I’ve made the mistake of tasting fruitcake I always think, Did I just bite into a Skittle? Or was it a thimble? (285).
10. Ordering ribs:
Ribs are what protect the pigs’ or cow’s lungs and are really great with barbecue sauce. . . It’s amazing how casually we order ribs (116).
If you’ve read this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are you a cake or pie person?