There’s a few things I want to say about this season of The Bachelorette.
(This may sound familiar if you follow me on Twitter).
If I was the Bachelorette. . .
- Everyone named Luke has to go home immediately.
- Peter never makes it past the first episode.
- If one of the contestants made an entrance having the producers deliver him in a big box during the intro episode, I would simply not open the box.
- Anyone who introduces themself with “I’m king of the jungle and I’m hoping we can change your title to My Queen” has to leave immediately because Cersei takes no kings.
- But if he introduces himself with his mouth full of a hotdog that he’s eating, he gets to stay because I’d probably do that too.
- I would turn the first group date into a Chopped competition where Alex Guarnaschelli and I are the only judges. The theme would be nachos.
- All of the solo dates would take place in a spa and begin with 90-minute massages. Any attempt at romantically switching places with the professional massage therapist will be considered voluntary terminations.
- At least one group date would be a Quickfire Challenge where everyone has to make a different type of bruschetta. There will be no Last Chance Kitchen.
- Some of the group dates will be technical challenges that I’d kick off by screeching, “ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET, BAKE!”
College is frequently on my mind, as we live near a campus. There are actually a lot of colleges in St. Paul – St. Paul College, St. Kate’s, St. Thomas, Macalester, Hamline, Concordia, part of the U of MN campus . . .I know I’m missing more. A trio of college student DJ’s actually moved in next door and there’s a frat house behind us in the alley. We joke that all of the activity keeps us young.
A lot has changed since I was in college in the early 2000’s. Technology advanced and the world feels smaller. Here are some things that I would imagine would make college different today:
- Smartphones and knowing how to find your friends
Smartphones make it easier to find your friends. Near the end of my college years, our phones could text (companies often charged by the text sent and received). Internet access was so slow and expensive, no one had it.
We hung whiteboards on our doors and wrote where we were headed – e.g. the cafeteria or library. It wasn’t unusual to call people’s actual dorm landlines. A lot of times you would simply wander over to your friend’s room or dorm without any notification.
In college student fashion, we flexed our abilities to articulate thoughts and make sense of the world. We constantly argued and debated. But, not online. In person. This was before Reddit and Facebook. Sometimes we debated issues for hours. If your friend made an outrageous claim, you couldn’t just fact check them on your smart phone. You had to wait until you got to a computer.
There’s something about a hotel bar that I just really like.
It’s never strange to eat and drink solo. Tired travelers make chill seat mates. Bartenders are used to making tired people in transit feel at ease. In the Charleston episode of No reservations, Anthony Bourdain described Waffle Houses as “irony-free zones where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.” I feel like hotel bars have a similar vibe, except with more irony and very little judgement.
Last year Jake won a trip to see the Final Four in San Antonio over Easter weekend. Sunday was our only (mostly) free day. Jake opted for a group wine and rum tour. I gladly opted out of the wine and rum tour and found myself alone on Easter for the first time.
That morning, I pulled up a seat at the hotel bar, ordering two mimosas and an Easter buffet for one. The woman sitting next to me was also tagging along on her partner’s Final Four work trip and opted out of the group activity. We commiserated about introvert things and clinked mimosas.
Between bites of McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches at 6:30 a.m. last week, we had plenty of time to chat on the car ride to Rochester for another infertility appointment.
Whether or not this succeeds or fails, or if we adopt, or both, our children will grow up in a different world than we did.
It’s weird to find yourself on the other side of “I think I’m old now!” coin.
Most of these things are super specific to the grade school I attended. Jake commented they most certainly did not do many of these things in his public schools. Millennials from District 196 can relate. 90’s sensibilities were different than today’s, for better and for worse.
Here’s a list of things our kids will (probably) never experience at school:
I feel like this chapter of my life could be titled “Tales From a Semi-retired Influencer.” From the first post I published on my old Blogspot blog to the present, it’s been a wild ride. Here are some thoughts that have been whirring around my heat and heart lately as I reflect on joys, regrets and learnings from sharing myself online for much of a decade: