As a new college graduate, I was a food snob.

I hated the idea of eating at a chain restaurant. My coworker felt the same way and we made such a terrible stink about our friend suggesting we eat at Olive Garden to celebrate a staff member’s birthday that we made her feel bad. She walked away from the conversation with a crumpled expression on her face saying, “Well, I like Olive Garden.” I’ve never forgotten the sinking feeling in my stomach from hurting my friend.

It’s not our food preferences that made us a food snob, it’s how we make others feel about theirs.

Marilyn Hagerty changed my life. I had lived in Fargo-Moorhead for about a year when her Olive Garden review first surfaced. Frankly, I thought she was nuts. Now that I’ve lived in the rural Midwest for going on four years, I kind of get it. Almost any new food business that moves into town is a hopeful sign of economic growth. It’s a new option and worth investigating. There’s also the fact that Hagerty is a talented, seasoned journalist who can like and write about whatever she wants.

Bismarck Crawl

Photo courtesy of the North Dakota Department of Commerce. Taken at the North Dakota Writers & Bloggers Workshop, June 2013 at Fireflour Pizza, Bismarck, ND.

That food snob inside me surfaced recently. Last November my in-laws announced they were leading us on a Joe’s restaurant crawl to celebrate my father-in-law’s birthday and I may have balked. Ok, so I totally balked. We were supposed to visit three Twin Cities restaurants in one day that included the name, “Joe” in their title, ending at Joe’s Crab Shack.

If it was my birthday, I probably wouldn’t choose Joe’s Crab Shack, but you know what? It wasn’t my birthday. I embraced my bib, sipped a colorful cocktail from a mason jar, and dug into a crab pot. It’s true that I enjoyed the food that I ate. Most importantly, my family was there and so I had a great time.

Just remember, it’s not my birthday and it’s probably not yours. I can play favorites, but never want to become so sophisticated that I can’t enjoy an evening out with loved ones at an Applebee’s.

I like purchasing organic butter from grass-fed cows and eggs from cage-free chickens. One of my vices is mango-habanero hot wings from Buffalo Wild Wings and I will never go to your Wildtree party, but if I have four dollars in my pocket, I’ll buy a box of your Thin Mints. So, does this mean that you must, too? Hell no. As food writer Jordana Rothman commented about the food culture of hate during the past year, “Let’s just all like what we like and hate what we hate in 2015.” 

Speak with your purchases and voice and pen for what you like and want to see. We can play favorites, but should aspire to do so with kindness.